And the journey begins.......

Well I have been keeping a journal of my weight loss and thought I would share it here for anyone that would like to read. I have learned that sometimes it is encouraging to read other people journey and that way you don't feel so alone on yours!  Hope this is uplifting and encouraging to someone out there.

I am no different than any other human being out there my weight has been a struggle all my life! Even back as far as elementary school I can remember struggling with my weight! I have been on so many diets, taken so many pills but I have found until weight loss is in your heart you will never be successful! I always had an excuse to loss for someone else but never took the time to care enough about myself in order to set my mind to lose weight! But I am proud to say that has changed. Over the summer of 2014 I begin to experience horrible back, and leg pain and knew that in order for this to come to an end than I would have to lose some weight! I am not the typical woman out there that might need to lose 5-10 lbs I needed to lose like 100-150lbs which just seemed so impossible. Instead of putting it in my mind that I could lose weight I would continue to eat to make me happy or I thought it was making me happy, but I have sense learned that it was just a cover up for me to be happy in the moment.

 I have a friend that decided to go on a diet but the diet she was gong on it cost a lot of money, I didn't have the money to join her on the diet, but I decided to support her during her time and go on a diet just without all the supplements that she would be having. This journey begin on August 11, 2014 I challenged myself to eat no sugars, no oils, or no breads,  no sodas, only water and very little of anything to try to lose a few pounds. My motto became, "Nothing is impossible, as long as you are determined you can and will achieve as long as you put your heart into it!!!!  Guess what???? I became determined. Determined that I was going to lose this weight if it took me a year to do so. I learned very quickly this takes effort, it takes will power, it takes determination, it takes putting your heart into it, but the one most important lesson I learned it was going to take the Lord helping me every step of the way. I set a goal to lose 20lbs my first month-so on September 11th I was down 21.8 lbs I exceeded my goal by 1.8lbs I was estatic and knew that if I could lose that in one month I could do this for the next few months. I started walking two miles a day and I was very discipline on my self I walked if it was rain, hot or no matter what was going on before I could go to sleep I would make myself have two miles in for the day. On Wednesday's and Thursdays we have church I would carry clothes and change afterwards and hit the track walking. On this journey I realized that daily the Lord was working with me more and more and it became alot more to me than just weight loss it was a spritual gain for me. In days before I had been so depressed, so down and out, but I had realized I was becoming a different person. I was spending more time in prayer, when I would get hungry instead of picking up a snack I would grab my water and bible and begin to read, and wow what a difference this has made in my life. It has broken more than my will power, it has humbled me and broken my spirit. It has put a hunger in me for the word, more than hunger for food.

I ask myself this question...What is my goals in losing weight??? Answer.....To be happier with myself. I want to be healthy this has been something I have struggled with all my life!
I have never had confidence in myself, never had any self-esstem but it is something that I am striving for.  I remind myself that I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me. Philippians 4:13. Sometimes when you have no one to encourage you, you have to do as David in the bible did and encourage yourself in the Lord and anything else in life. I continually have encouraged myself by saying Amy, you can do this, keep your head help up, don't give up! The end results in this journey will be worth every mile you have walked, every drop of sweat that you have sweat and every ache and pain you have had gong through it. As of today I am 80 days into this journey I know that God is all I need! He is with me through my struggles, He knows my down falls, He hears my cries, He hears me complain, He s there to listen when no one else is there or even cares. In the scripture it tells me He will never leave me nor forsake me! He will always be with me on my good days and my bad!
I have learned it is not just about fighting, but it is about surviving. There are days that I want to tear open a bag of BBQ potato chips, get me a Butter-finger candy bar just sit down and pig out but that would do no good at all and I have to remind myself that the only obstacle in my life is me! I am the only problem that stands between me living the rest of my life fat, or skinny! That is a choice that I have to make, so with that said I am challenging myself to work harder and harder every day no matter how difficult it may become to lose at least 50% of my body weight by August 11, 2015. Some may say that is impossible, but I want to believe that it is possible. All things are possible with God!

On this journey as you may have already realized in reading there have been so many things that I have learned! I have had to come to the point of making myself mentally believe that I am fat in order to get my mind set on losing weight. You may think that is crazy, but for so long I have lived in denial. I don't want to do anything that can come even close to hindering that or coming before the goals I have set for myself. Sometimes life may seem to try and get the best of you and in those time is when sticking with the program is hard but that is just when you have to become more determined than you ever have been, and remember everyone struggles from time to time with life. I have to constantly tell myself life is not all about you!

Even the times you feel most alone on your journey God is there! This is something I daily remind myself!

I have ask myself what in the world has got me to this point in my life, why have I allowed myself come to the point of gaining this much weight??? There could be question after question I put in here, but to narrow it all down it is all to do with self! I allowed myself to harm my body the way I have. I have come to learn that food addiction is just as bad as a drug addiction! I look back over the years of my life and realize through happy times, sad times, lonely time, good times, or bad times I allowed myself to feel better by eating! When in reality i was just satisfying myself in the moment by eating!

The journey of life may be easy at times. but most of the time it is a journey you have to walk minute by minute in order to make it. Sometimes sickness of a loved one can draw us closer to the Lord if we will just yield to His word. The Lord will never put on us more than we can handle although at times the load may seem so heavy that we cant bear but in those times we need to lean on Him to carry us through. Psalm 56:11-In God I have put my trust I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. He is the one we put all our trust in He guides, directs, and leads us to the place He wants and needs us to be. Sometimes we are in a season of laughter, joy, sometimes a season of pain, but through each season of life the Lord is still there. Even in the times of life that may leave us feeling overwhelmed we still need to call on Him.

October 11, 2014 - 2month weigh in I was a little disappointed I didn't meet the goal I wanted to of losing 40lbs by now but I have lost 38.8 lbs.

 Day 80 on this journey - October 31, 2014- Wow this journey continues to get harder and harder but as of today I have lost 50lbs! Yay Me!!!

I have rambled a lot but the conclusion of this today is that you can do anything that you set your mind to! Do not let the enemy make you think you cant! Stay focused! Stay encouraged in all things!

ON August 11, 2014 I started a journey that has done so much for me than just the typically losing weight! ...Soon to come my journey!

Are you an egg, a carrot, or a coffee bean???

I didn't write this devotion but I rearranged some things have had this for years but thought it was great to share with someone that might need to hear!  

Are you an egg, a carrot, or a coffee bean???

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.
Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.
She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.
She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.
After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

The egg, carrot, and coffee all went through heat. Our “heat” are trials that face us.

1. Are you an Egg? A Cup of Bitterness?

Started off with a malleable heart. Sensitive to others. Caring. Considerate
Changed with the heat…the trials.
Became hardened…bitter…stiff spirit.

Heb 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

•Many people are bitter over the past, frustrated about the present and worried about the future. Which are you?
•We wonder “why bad things happen?” When, we need to realize adversity happens to all. God isn’t peering down thinking about who he will throw the next bolt of lightning to. What really bothers us is that it happened to US (but what makes us so special that it shouldn’t?) It really comes down to a pride issue.

•No matter the era, the culture or the level of material wealth, hardship is common to all men of all time when...
•all your efforts seem to end in failure
•no matter how hard you try, you just don't seem get anything accomplished
•you suffer unjustly
•nothing ever seems to go right
•life just doesn't seem to be getting any better
•it feels like nothing good has resulted from your life
•you do your best and still fail
•you do what is right and it still turns out wrong
•your family falls apart
•your health fails, your money is lost and your friends forsake you (JOB)
•you think you have nothing to show for your life
•you feel lonely and isolated
•you feel like no one understands what you're going through
•it feels like everyone sees you as a failure
•your kids go down the wrong path
•you look at your life and it just doesn't seem like there is any reason to keep trying
•you just flat-out can't see anything good coming from trying anymore
•your whole life feels like one great big regret
•you realize that your life is not what you ever thought it would be

John 12:40 He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them.

•As an egg becomes hard boiled….it becomes useless for cooking…only for consumption. Raw, eggs are a binding agent.
•With a softened heart we can do much for the Lord………moving as he wills………we can unify other brethren and bring others to the Lord (binding).
•Are you “binding” or are you being “consumed”?
•Bitterness is NOT rare. Many become hardened. Life seems to bring it naturally. We have to fight against.

2. Are you a Carrot? A cup of brokenness? Being a carrot can be a good thing or a bad thing.

A. The BAD Carrot
•Often life’s trials can cause:
•Guilt—for things we have done wrong (God forgave us. We need to forgive ourselves)
--1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
--Psalms 51—begins with David’s guilt…………but ends with him relieved from the spirit of forgiveness.
--The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
•Depression—for things that have gone wrong for us
--Humility is not thinking low of yourself……….but not thinking of yourself at all. When we are depressed we have decided to focus upon ourselves and OUR circumstances. (I have these tendencies). It’s a spiraling effect.
--Depression and guilt often go hand-in-hand.
By becoming TOO soft, we wilt and lose our strength. Give up.
Is that you?

B. The GOOD Carrot
--Psa 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
We need to become humble to be used of God. Did you know….
Carrots are more nutritious when cooked. Cooking breaks down the tough cellular walls that hold in the nutrients and are easier to absorb by the body.
Trials break down some of the walls (barriers) in our lives that prevent us from doing the work of God.
When was the last time you cried over a sin you had committed? Or the lost soul of another person? Maybe we are still “an egg” but need to become as a “cooked carrot”?

3. Are you a Coffee Bean? A Cup of Blessing? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

--1Pe 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
Each one of us are a tool in God’s tool box. Sometimes we need SHARPENED so that we can be of more use. The trials we go through are not meant to stop us but to keep us going…and make us stronger
You control you. Sometimes we think events control us or others. But…when you get down to it…we control ourselves. We control how we respond.

--1Pe 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

The Christian life is NOT smooth sailing but a soft landing. --Do you see your trial as a potential blessing? What can you take from it? (Ask…what is God trying to say to me through this storm?)
--Can you be a blessing to others through it? (while going through a trial……..do something for someone else or for the Lord. It will take your mind off yourself…and place it on others.)
--Does it provide you with insight to understanding others?
(Having gone through financial struggles………I can help those who go through the same.
Having lost loved ones, I can relate more to those who lose their loved ones.
Having gone through loss of health with my Dad, I can be more sympathetic to those who go through the same, etc...)We all go through different things and think of your trial as to a help to someone else
So, what kind of Cup are you?
At the end of your life, will others look back and see you as having been a…
A Cup of Bitterness—the trials of life have hardened you………you are consumed by the wrongs of your past…or the trials of the present….or the worries of the future
A Cup of Brokenness—Have the trials of life left you with guilt/depression….spiraling deeper and deeper into a dark abyss of being unusable for the Lord? –or-
Have the trials of life left you broken and humble, ready to listen and follow the will of the Lord?
A Cup of Blessing—Have the trials of life made you to want to try harder and do better? Have they provided you with insight that has enabled you to GROW and to be a blessing to others?

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Caught in the storm but protected by God’s umbrella

Caught in the storm but protected by God’s umbrella

Have you ever been caught in a storm? Stormy weather can cause some intense feelings and reactions for some people.

1.      Stormy weather can cause Fear – Matthew 14:22-33 is the story of Peter walking on the water…….²² And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. ²³ And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone. ²⁴ But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary. ²⁵ And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. ²⁶ And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. ²⁷ But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. ²⁸ And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. ²⁹ And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. ³¹ And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? ³² And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. ³³ Then they that were in the ship came and worshiped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.-----a storm came up while the disciples were in a ship and they were afraid when they saw Jesus waling on the water toward them. Jesus told them Who He was and then Peter, one of the disciples walked on the water to. When Peter looked around and saw the storm, he was afraid.

   Storms can be scary and it is natural to be afraid here’s Peter, one of the disciples who learned at Jesus' feet and even he was afraid, but look what it says in Matthew 14:31 after Peter began to sink and called out to Christ.

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him,
and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

I know when we study this verse we usually focus on the "little faith" part but I think that first part of the verse deserves to be focused on as well. Jesus immediately reached out His hand and caught Peter. When we call on Jesus, He's there for us. I also love that next verse in the chapter (vs. 31).
Here's Peter, one of the disciples who learned at Jesus' feet and even he was afraid, but look what it says in Matthew 14:31 after Peter began to sink and called out to Christ.

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him,
and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

Jesus knew His disciples were going to be in that boat when the storm came up. He sent them there. We may question why the Lord tells us to do something or where He has sent us, or even the things that we have to deal with because it may not be smooth sailing. We may question why the Lord is causing storms in our lives when all we want to do is to serve Him and obey Him. This story shows me that sometimes we can be right where God wants us--right where He told us to go--right in the center of His will and we can still have some storms come up. What we can take comfort in is the fact that the Lord knows all about those storms and He's there with us through them.

2.      Stormy weather can cause worry  in Mark 4:35-41, the disciples were out on the water in a boat again. This time Jesus was with them. As a matter of fact, in this story, Jesus was sleeping. A storm comes up on the water, and the disciples began to worry that they were going to die. The wind was blowing. The ship they were in was full of water and they were worried about their safety. The disciples went to Jesus and woke Him up and basically asked Him if He cared if they died or not.

And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow:
and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that
we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the
sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have
no faith?   Mark 4:38-40

It's so easy to question God's care when we have that water rushing in on us and we feel like we can't keep our head up above it. What's so sweet is that we can give those worries right over to the Lord because we know He's the one that is capable of calming our waters and our storm. We can have that faith in Him because He is always in control whether we can see it from our view or not.

3.      Stormy weather can cause change -
The story of Noah's Ark is found in Genesis 6-9. Noah definitely had some raindrops falling down all around him and God was wonderful in preparing a way for Noah and his family to escape the flood. We always hear about that provision part of the story and it is a wonderful story of God's plan and protection. But can you just imagine what it must have been like after God safely carried them through the flood and for Noah's family to step off of that ark and look around and realize that they were the last ones standing? Talk about change! Everything they had ever known was different. Their lifestyle would be different. The land and earth itself was different. The whole make up of the entire world as they knew it was different. All their friends and all the people they had ever known aside from their family was gone. I know I would have had a hard time adjusting.

Change can be rough. In my personal life there was a time that change was very difficult for me. My Dad was dying of brain cancer and on July 14, 2008 we carried him to see his doctor in Birmingham for the last time that day the doctor told us that three months would be a long life for dad. Mom was already over tired and drained from taking care of Dad day in and day out and the nights as well....Well as we were leaving the Doctor office that day at Kirkland clinic I will never forget as we were walking over the bridge at Kirkland clinic the Lord impressed upon me that I needed to move in with Mom and Dad to help take care of Dad I just ignored this because this is not what flesh wanted to do. Me and Audrey was living in Shadow Lake Apts. and everything in our life seem to be going good at the time and I remember coming home and saying Lord please don't make me do this I struggled with it and decided if it was meant for me to do it that the Lord would just send someone to tell me. On Sunday, July 27, 2008 Bro Jeff Crawley had come to me two different times in church and prayed with me that morning and said different things each time. After church we were all talking and he come up to me and said Amy, sometimes we don't understand the message or the words the Lord is giving us to give someone else but through obedience we just have to know that it is what the Lord wants us to do I have come to you two different times today during service to tell you what the Lord has given me to tell you and it just didn't make sense to me and I can't leave today without sharing this with you and the Lord has told me to just tell you to go home....I begin to just weep because I knew this was exactly my answer to what I really needed to do. You know sometimes we doubt or we don't have enough of confidence to know that the Lord is telling us something and we just want to know for sure that it is him and if it is he will make himself real in the situation and he did in mine.

Sometimes the rain falls on our lives and the storms come up and rage for a time and after a while the storm quiets down or comes to a standstill and we stop and look around and there is all this change. Then that change sets in. Not to say that change is always bad. Sometimes it strengthens us and improves our lives, but that isn't to say that it's always easy for us to go through. This change in my life was hard and it has been over three years now and it is still hard..... Change brings about a difference in our routines and even the little things along with the big things are not the same anymore and it can affect us.

I'm so glad I have the Lord to lean on at times like that. I know when I'm feeling that change that comes with the storms that there's always something that God can show me to remind me that He's still there. For Noah He gave that reminder in the form of a rainbow.

And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it,
that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God
and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.
Genesis 9:16

I may not look up and see a big colorful rainbow in the sky. It may be that I have to actively look for that reminder of God's love. I may have to search God's Word, dwell on His promises, and seek Him in prayer, but in the end, He'll give me that rainbow of comfort. The Lord will let me know that He is still in control.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

What is an umbrella for?  To protect us from the rain – weather.
Just as we use an umbrella to protect us from different types of weather God provides us an umbrella to protect us in the storm.
-Discovering God’s Umbrella
Life has many dark times…as well as sunny times. We often seem to be in the valley more than the Mountain tops but no matter where you are at God is still with you.
A few months ago I was going through a trial that was testing my faith very strongly and one night as I went to bed I sit up on the edge of the bed and I remember saying this to God. I feel like I have been going through way to much lately, and God it is not easy how are you showing me you love me through all of this? Well I had little faith not thinking when I ask that question that I would get the immediate response that I did. God said to my heart…”I’m walking through the rain with you and I am giving you my umbrella” I felt like at that moment God was giving me his umbrella like anyone else might share their umbrella on a rainy day. As I look back over my life the last few years I can see exactly where God has done just that for me. There have been many times when I have cried, but there was also moments of joy deeper than I’d ever known. There been many day when I was frustrated. But there was also an immeasurable peace covering my life. But there are still moments that seem like some of life long dreams will never come true. But somehow I still have an enduring hope that makes me certain that God has a plan.
-Lessons from the Storm
You know when we go through a storm in life it is just not for us to have to suffer as we may think at times but there are Lessons to be learned from the storm.
As I thought about all the trials, upsets, frustrations, depressing times I had been going through I begin to understand what God meant when He said He had given me His umbrella, but I also thought it through and realized there were a few things I had learned just walking out in the rain.

1.      I have got to choose to stay under the umbrella.    There are still times in my life as well as yours I am sure that I walk right out from underneath the covering that God has provided for me. And it can be done not even realizing it….We get frustrated at times, scared, and even angry and we walk right out in the storm without even thinking about God. Sadness begins to creep in along with some depression and at the time hope has begun to disappear. I look down to only notice that I am soaking wet from being out from under the umbrella …..that my friend is when we need to realize we need to run back to God’s umbrella to dry off again.

2.      God is the one holding the umbrella – I am just going to have to say this one kind of slapped me in the face when I started realizing it this week……there are many times on my journey that  I have run to friends (Heather)  thinking they could stop the storm. I am finally figuring out that they can walk with me through the storm with me but only God has the umbrella.

3.      The umbrella doesn’t make the storm go away- God’s umbrella has kept me from getting soaked from time to time. IT has given me a peace, hope and even joy in the midst of the hard times I have ever faced but I am still in the storm. When I was younger I probably shouldn’t say younger it was just a few years ago when this really became reality to me  I thought I had to have a smile plastered on my face at all times now I have learned that it is ok to admit Im hurting, it’s ok to say I am struggling, it is actually seems like God gets more Glory when people know I am in a storm, and the only way I am making it is with the umbrella made of love. Even in times of difficulty I’ve been able to see God’s hand.

-Believing the Sun will Shine Again – Raindrops are still splashing against the window. The storm outside looks like it will never end. Sometimes the storms in my life still feels that way to, but I know I will have God’s umbrella until the sun comes out again.