Well I have been keeping a journal of my weight loss and thought I would share it here for anyone that would like to read. I have learned that sometimes it is encouraging to read other people journey and that way you don't feel so alone on yours! Hope this is uplifting and encouraging to someone out there.
I am no different than any other human being out there my weight has been a struggle all my life! Even back as far as elementary school I can remember struggling with my weight! I have been on so many diets, taken so many pills but I have found until weight loss is in your heart you will never be successful! I always had an excuse to loss for someone else but never took the time to care enough about myself in order to set my mind to lose weight! But I am proud to say that has changed. Over the summer of 2014 I begin to experience horrible back, and leg pain and knew that in order for this to come to an end than I would have to lose some weight! I am not the typical woman out there that might need to lose 5-10 lbs I needed to lose like 100-150lbs which just seemed so impossible. Instead of putting it in my mind that I could lose weight I would continue to eat to make me happy or I thought it was making me happy, but I have sense learned that it was just a cover up for me to be happy in the moment.
I have a friend that decided to go on a diet but the diet she was gong on it cost a lot of money, I didn't have the money to join her on the diet, but I decided to support her during her time and go on a diet just without all the supplements that she would be having. This journey begin on August 11, 2014 I challenged myself to eat no sugars, no oils, or no breads, no sodas, only water and very little of anything to try to lose a few pounds. My motto became, "Nothing is impossible, as long as you are determined you can and will achieve as long as you put your heart into it!!!! Guess what???? I became determined. Determined that I was going to lose this weight if it took me a year to do so. I learned very quickly this takes effort, it takes will power, it takes determination, it takes putting your heart into it, but the one most important lesson I learned it was going to take the Lord helping me every step of the way. I set a goal to lose 20lbs my first month-so on September 11th I was down 21.8 lbs I exceeded my goal by 1.8lbs I was estatic and knew that if I could lose that in one month I could do this for the next few months. I started walking two miles a day and I was very discipline on my self I walked if it was rain, hot or no matter what was going on before I could go to sleep I would make myself have two miles in for the day. On Wednesday's and Thursdays we have church I would carry clothes and change afterwards and hit the track walking. On this journey I realized that daily the Lord was working with me more and more and it became alot more to me than just weight loss it was a spritual gain for me. In days before I had been so depressed, so down and out, but I had realized I was becoming a different person. I was spending more time in prayer, when I would get hungry instead of picking up a snack I would grab my water and bible and begin to read, and wow what a difference this has made in my life. It has broken more than my will power, it has humbled me and broken my spirit. It has put a hunger in me for the word, more than hunger for food.
I ask myself this question...What is my goals in losing weight??? Answer.....To be happier with myself. I want to be healthy this has been something I have struggled with all my life!
I have never had confidence in myself, never had any self-esstem but it is something that I am striving for. I remind myself that I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me. Philippians 4:13. Sometimes when you have no one to encourage you, you have to do as David in the bible did and encourage yourself in the Lord and anything else in life. I continually have encouraged myself by saying Amy, you can do this, keep your head help up, don't give up! The end results in this journey will be worth every mile you have walked, every drop of sweat that you have sweat and every ache and pain you have had gong through it. As of today I am 80 days into this journey I know that God is all I need! He is with me through my struggles, He knows my down falls, He hears my cries, He hears me complain, He s there to listen when no one else is there or even cares. In the scripture it tells me He will never leave me nor forsake me! He will always be with me on my good days and my bad!
I have learned it is not just about fighting, but it is about surviving. There are days that I want to tear open a bag of BBQ potato chips, get me a Butter-finger candy bar just sit down and pig out but that would do no good at all and I have to remind myself that the only obstacle in my life is me! I am the only problem that stands between me living the rest of my life fat, or skinny! That is a choice that I have to make, so with that said I am challenging myself to work harder and harder every day no matter how difficult it may become to lose at least 50% of my body weight by August 11, 2015. Some may say that is impossible, but I want to believe that it is possible. All things are possible with God!
On this journey as you may have already realized in reading there have been so many things that I have learned! I have had to come to the point of making myself mentally believe that I am fat in order to get my mind set on losing weight. You may think that is crazy, but for so long I have lived in denial. I don't want to do anything that can come even close to hindering that or coming before the goals I have set for myself. Sometimes life may seem to try and get the best of you and in those time is when sticking with the program is hard but that is just when you have to become more determined than you ever have been, and remember everyone struggles from time to time with life. I have to constantly tell myself life is not all about you!
Even the times you feel most alone on your journey God is there! This is something I daily remind myself!
I have ask myself what in the world has got me to this point in my life, why have I allowed myself come to the point of gaining this much weight??? There could be question after question I put in here, but to narrow it all down it is all to do with self! I allowed myself to harm my body the way I have. I have come to learn that food addiction is just as bad as a drug addiction! I look back over the years of my life and realize through happy times, sad times, lonely time, good times, or bad times I allowed myself to feel better by eating! When in reality i was just satisfying myself in the moment by eating!
The journey of life may be easy at times. but most of the time it is a journey you have to walk minute by minute in order to make it. Sometimes sickness of a loved one can draw us closer to the Lord if we will just yield to His word. The Lord will never put on us more than we can handle although at times the load may seem so heavy that we cant bear but in those times we need to lean on Him to carry us through. Psalm 56:11-In God I have put my trust I will not be afraid what man can do unto me. He is the one we put all our trust in He guides, directs, and leads us to the place He wants and needs us to be. Sometimes we are in a season of laughter, joy, sometimes a season of pain, but through each season of life the Lord is still there. Even in the times of life that may leave us feeling overwhelmed we still need to call on Him.
October 11, 2014 - 2month weigh in I was a little disappointed I didn't meet the goal I wanted to of losing 40lbs by now but I have lost 38.8 lbs.
Day 80 on this journey - October 31, 2014- Wow this journey continues to get harder and harder but as of today I have lost 50lbs! Yay Me!!!
I have rambled a lot but the conclusion of this today is that you can do anything that you set your mind to! Do not let the enemy make you think you cant! Stay focused! Stay encouraged in all things!
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